The most stressful part of Christmas for me is choosing the items I want to give as a present to my sister/mum/dad/anyone else that falls into that bracket of not really knowing what they want. The thing is my brain automatically goes to the one item that I think everybody will want, when it’s really just the item I know I’d be the most happy with if no one knew what to get me: DVD’s.
I love a good DVD. It’s probably my favourite thing to receive which is why whenever I’m stuck that’s my go-to gift to buy for someone. Surely if I’d love a DVD they would to, right?
Sadly, not mine.
Well, no. This year, thankfully, I’ve talked myself out of buying DVD’s as presents, (aside from one person, but that’s a boxset and it’s pretty awesome) because I have to remember that not everyone watches DVD’s the way I do. I like to watch and rewatch a lot of the films I own (I’ve lost count how many times I’ve watched Battle Royale or Little Shop of Horrors*); and I know for a fact that my parents and my sister probably wouldn’t. So buying them a DVD is basically a ‘here’s something for you to watch once and never again’ gift. Which frankly, sucks.
You may say ‘it’s the thought that counts.’ And in one way, it is. But in another more accurate way, it’s bollocks. Nobody wants a present they’ll only use once, unless it’s strictly a one use thing, like tickets to a show or edible underwear. If I really wanted to get them a one-watch DVD I’d get them one of those god-awful football foul ups DVD’s that get churned out every Christmas with Danny Dyer. And nobody wants one of those. Not even Danny Dyer. They’re just designed for exactly one viewing, and then get forgotten about by Boxing Day; they are disposable, last minute gifts with no thought put into them at all – “Hmmm, Jonny likes football. Jonny like laughing. He doesn’t like Danny Dyer, but then who does? Let’s get him this funny football DVD.”
"I'm a twat."
You could say the same for stand up DVD’s that there are a lot of around Christmas time, funnily enough. These used to be great gifts, and I have a good many of them (mostly Bill Bailey ones) but these fall into a similar trap as the football DVD’s. Although, you can usually get a few more viewings out of a stand up DVD and if you’re lucky it’ll be a few more years before it shows up on TV, thus rendering your DVD moot.
That said though, it is partly my own fault, as when I can’t think of anything that I want, I normally ask for such a DVD (stand up, not football gaffes) thus further perpetuating the myth that people actually want these for Christmas rather than they couldn’t think of anything else. So, if you’re stuck for a gift to get someone like me (male, 20’s, kinda nerdy), don’t go for the easy option of a stand up DVD; pick something out of leftfield. Go to the world cinema section and do a Countdown (1 from the top, and 5 from anywhere else) and I guarantee you the recipient will be happier with that than with John bloody Bishop.
Best. Countdown. Ever.
I went on a wee off tangent rant there, but I figure I should follow my own advice when buying for those who don’t want another DVD from me on Christmas morning. I should go mad in a gadget shop, enter a random number into the Argos price checker and buy that, pick the first thing I see on Amazon. Surprise them with something they’d never ever have bought themselves.
Like edible underwear.
Of course, if they actually want a DVD, you’re probably better off just buying them one.
*didn’t think I’d ever see those two films together in a sentence.