Friday 11 February 2011

DVD snobbery

I have a vast collection of DVD’s.

It’s probably pushing about 400 (I’m aware that depending on the type of person you are this may seem like a ridiculous amount or hardly a ‘vast’ collection at all, but to me, it’s pretty freaking big). But despite having a lot of them, I’m astoundingly snobby when it comes to my collection.


For example, today I was browsing in a shop selling a lot of DVD’s. I had an interest in some of them, seeing as they were 2 for £10. However, there was a problem. These particular DVD’s were discontinued stock from a rental store that had gone out of business. And as such most of the DVD’s had the words RENTAL COPY on both the front and the spine of the case.

And therefore, I would never, ever buy it.

I know that the disc is probably fine and that there would probably not be any problems with the actual movie, but because of those two little words it will never grace my collection. It’s the same reason that back in the day where some bloke down the market had cheap knock off DVD’s that I was loathe to buy them.



To my eyes, it makes it look cheap. I take pride in my DVD collection. It’s nerdy, I know, but I can’t help it. The movies I own and the condition they’re in are a reflection on me. Of the 400 odd I own, all (or at the very least, 99% of them) are in perfect condition, just as they were the day they were bought. Beautiful, pristine, and official. I think ‘official’ is the most important word. Maybe it’s just me being a proper snob, but I can’t stand anything I own being less than perfect, or cheap looking. And for that reason I could never have a rental copy or a copied DVD adorning my beautiful shelf. Anyone else this particular about the collections? Or am I just that sad?

On a similar DVD shelf related note, I saw something else today that I’m surprised hasn’t been done before. It was a boxset for all the Saw movies that have been released on DVD so far, which is you’ve been following the series is 6 movies (not that many are following it; while the first Saw was truly brilliant, the sequels have become a convoluted mess, solely existing to find disgusting ways to kill people, although I do commend it’s committal to weaving an intricate back story that does actually adhere to rigorous continuity). But this boxset was different, and what drew my eye to it was the fact that on the front it had a sticker saying that this boxset had a space for the as yet unreleased (supposed) final chapter in the Saw franchise; Saw 3D.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Saw-1-6-Box-Set-DVD/dp/B003YUBZ84/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1297436794&sr=8-1

Such a simple idea, but one that I have not seen before in my years of DVD buying. And I think more franchises should adopt this new packaging revolution, as it would rid us of the horrible decision of whether to put a new addition (usually a fourth movie in a series) next to the already released boxset, or in the with the normal alphabetically organised single DVD’s. It’s a dilemma we all face. However, as I tried to come up with an example of my own for this, the only one I could come up with was Indiana Jones. But it gets a pass as the fourth one was made like 20 years after Last Crusade. And also, I try and bury Crystal Skull in with the others so as to try and wipe it from my memory. I’m sure there are more examples; I just can’t think of any right now.

So, if you’re in charge of a movie and think there may be sequels down the line, release your DVD with some extra space for a possible trilogy. And if you trilogy never happens, at least you’ve given us an extra place to hide our dirty movies.

Ta
JC

Friday 4 February 2011

My Gaming History Part 1

Let me be honest here for a little while: if someone put a gun to my head and told me I could only enjoy one of these things for the rest of my life, out of gaming, film and TV, I reckon I would pick gaming.

Actually, that’s a lie. I’d pick TV.

But my point is I love gaming. I mean really love it. Have done since I was a small child. And I think I’m really the generation that ‘gets’ gaming the most; the 24-35 age bracket. People in this age bracket (also, bear in mind that I’m slightly uncomfortable grouping myself with people over 30. I’m still young, me. I go to all the cool parties) grew up with gaming. And I don’t mean they had every console that was released, though they did. I mean gaming has grown up alongside these people, as well as vice versa. In fact I’m probably on the outskirts of the ‘grew up with gaming’ stage. My first console was a ZX Spectrum, and it was terrific, but there were consoles before that. I can’t really offer an opinion on them. It would appear that while not there for gaming at its infancy, I was certainly there for the awkward first steps and teething stage, or the third generation of consoles to give it its proper name.

Anyway, to the mighty Spectrum. And it was mighty. In that there were so many pieces of kit to actually play the bugger. The massive power unit, the tape player you needed as the games for it came on cassettes (!) and the keyboard. The lovely ergonomic, streamlined, rubber keyed keyboard. It was a thing of beauty, and looked exactly like the type of keyboard used in underground Russian bunkers to launch nuclear missiles, except this had a little rainbow bit in the bottom right corner. It was cool. It’s still in my house somewhere, probably tucked away in a box in the roof space, gathering dust but still looking cool, and all pleased with itself.



The Spectrum itself was a time consuming console, mainly because it took so long to actually load up a game that when you eventually started playing you daren’t stop. Imagine dial up internet, but one that took about 15 minutes to connect and you’re almost there. Although you were treated to a nice display of multicoloured loading screens, that probably caused many a child to go into convulsions. But once it started, oh baby, were you ever treated to a wide variety of games. A wide variety of startlingly similar games with different skins, but it was still immense. The game I believe was the first I ever truly loved was an absolute gem. Jason’s Gem to be precise. You controlled a little space ship thing that had to manoeuvre through dangerous terrain, and you could either blast your way through it or carefully navigate your way around it. Blasting through was fun and got the job done but skilfully mastering the course was much more satisfying. It was simple, but I loved it. It was kind of like Space Invaders but in reverse. You were the invader, moving ever downwards to reach your goal. Come to think of it, maybe Jason was an evil overlord conquering every world he came to. They didn’t put that on the box though.

Anyway, the other game I loved on the ZX was R-Type. And if you’ve never played R-Type before, I take pity on your soul. I’m not even going to bother reviewing it, because everyone should know how good it is. As was indicative of this era of gaming, and for a while after too, the covers for the games were so awesome that the game couldn’t possibly live up to them. R-Type broke the tradition however, as it more than lived up to its bad ass cover.



After the glorious Spectrum days came the 16 BIT days. Twice the power, twice the awesomeness, twice the price probably; almost too much for this 7 year old boy to comprehend. My brain nearly exploded from sheer excitement. I still remember coming down on Christmas morning 1992 at 4AM, opening the door to the living room, and seeing the outline of a Sega Mega Drive box lit by the street lights outside, with a copy of Sonic the Hedgehog 2 sitting in front of it. I remember kneeling down beside it and practically salivating over it as my sister was next to me doing the same with a Polly Pocket dream village (or whatever) box. I remember loving the fact that Santa (yes, Santa) had bought me this. I also remember waiting for another 5 hours before I could actually play the blasted thing. Stupid parents, not waking up at the same time as me.

Anyway, the Mega Drive era was where I really fell in love with gaming. Sonic was the coolest video game character of all time (and still is) and was the perfect mascot for the faster, better, stronger Mega Drive. Sega does what Nintendon’t. Too bloody right.



First of all, the console itself, as it was a thing of beauty, with 16 BIT emblazoned on the front as if it’s screaming at you “That’s right, motherf*cker. I’ve got 16 BIT worth of power, and I’m going to remind you of just how f*cking awesome I am every time you look at me. 16 BIT FTW! Look at this grate on the side of me; it’s not to cool me down, it’s to warm you motherf*ckers up. Also, I’m all streamlined and sh*t. Screw your SNES, it looks like a grey box full of sh*t. I’m all rounded and smooth, and jet black and sexy.” Or is that just me that thinks that?

The controller was also a gorgeous little (big) thing. Unlike the SNES controller which was just a rectangle, that caused indentations in your hands during moments of intense gaming, the Mega Drive controller fit perfectly in your hands. It didn’t matter that the buttons A B and C did the same thing in most games, it looked sexy.



Up down left right A start, anyone?

And then there were the games. I’ll not go into in depth reviews of them all, because we’d be here all day. I’ll just name a few of my favourites: obviously all of the Sonics (special mention goes to Sonic and Knuckles onto which you could put other Sonic games and play as Knuckles; class. The SNES didn’t have that now, did it?); Mickey Mouse in the Castle of Illusion; Tiny Toon Adventures; Columns; Shinobi; Golden Axe; Italia 90 (the birds eye view footballing game); PGA 94; Fifa 96 (in which you were guaranteed a goal by running up the right flank and shooting from about 25 yards out) and of course the mighty Streets of Rage. All amazing.



And who doesn’t miss the days where if a game didn’t work, for whatever reason, all you had to do was rip out the cartridge, blow on it, slam in back in, and Bob’s your mother’s brother.

Also, back in the 16 BIT days, games were hard. I mean, really hard. You started off with three lives, and if you lost them, barring any continues you may have had, that was it. GAME OVER. Tough shit, basically. I remember reaching the part 3 of the Labyrinth Zone in the original Sonic the Hedgehog (Labyrinth Zone was the Aztec-y looking one that filled with water), following Robotnik up a shaft (oh-er!) in which arrows and badniks were making things more difficult. I had died a lot of times already and was on my last life. No continues left. This was it. I had hit him 7 times, 8 being the number of times that you had to hit one of the good doctor’s inventions before it blew up (Serious design flaw, that). I hit him the eighth time, he began to explode, but I wasn’t celebrating. Mainly because on my descent from hitting the underside of Robotnik’s wee hovercraft thing, I had hit a fucking protruding spike and died. Died my last life. No continues. GAME OVER. I could have cried. Games were hard back then, yo.

I loved my Mega Drive. I played until my eyes began to turn square, from both the amount of time playing it, as well as the fact that every game used REALLY BRIGHT COLOURS. I take pride however, that I never ended up looking like those kids on GamesMaster, who appeared to be in a vegetative state, only surfacing from in front of their TV’s to ask Patrick Moore how to get the best time on Super Happy Fun Time Racer 4.



[Wee sidenote here, but how awesome was GamesMaster? I often wish there was a show like it these days. Patrick Moore could probably still do it, despite him being about 406 years old]

But then my Mega Drive broke. I was inconsolable (pun semi intended). For a long while I had nothing to play games on. It was a dark time.

Then…the Playstation came along.

And that’s when everything changed...

With its demo disc and a T-Rex simulator which was simultaneously brilliant and pointless, the Playstation heralded a new age of gaming. An age where gaming suddenly got serious.

And it got serious in three dimensions.

More game history next time, folks.

Toodle pip

JC